Mastering Member Conversations with Confidence

You ever walk into a conversation knowing exactly what you want to say… and then – bam – your brain just locks up? You freeze. Your words stumble out all wrong. And suddenly, you’re thinking, ‘Do I sound ridiculous right now?’

Listen, we’ve all been there. And the good news? Confidence isn’t about having all the right words – it’s about training your brain to stay calm, clear, and in control.

Today, I’m sharing three simple but powerful techniques to help you shake off anxiety, build unshakable confidence, and handle tough conversations like a pro.

Let’s talk about the biggest roadblock – nervousness. You know that tightness in your chest? The racing thoughts? The “What if I say the wrong thing,” spiral?

Here’s the truth: confidence doesn’t mean you never feel nervous. It means you know how to manage it.

So, here’s your quick 3-step confidence reset for those pre-conversation jitters:

Step 1: Breathe & Reset 
Anxiety makes your breathing shallow, and shallow breathing makes you sound nervous. The quick fix? The 5-second reset: Breathe in for 5, hold for 5, breathe out for 5. This literally tells your brain, “I’m in control.”

Step 2: Reframe the Fear
Most of our nerves come from thinking, “What if I mess up?” Flip it. Instead of focusing on yourself, focus on the other person. Ask yourself: “How can I help them right now?” This shift gets you out of self-doubt and into problem-solving mode.

Step 3: Use a Power Phrase
Before you start speaking, tell yourself: “I’ve got this.” I know, it sounds too simple. But your brain believes what you repeat. Say it enough, and it becomes your default mindset.

So, next time anxiety kicks in? Stop. Breathe. Reframe. Remind yourself –you’ve got this.

Confidence isn’t something you’re born with – it’s something you build. And here’s my go-to formula for instant confidence: Know. Show. Flow.

Know: Confidence comes from competence. And here’s the best part – you don’t have to know everything. You just have to know where to find the answer.

Simple phrase to keep in your back pocket? “That’s a great question! Let me find that for you.” That’s confidence without pressure.

Show: You ever talk to someone who sounds bored just listening to themselves? Don’t be that person. Energy builds trust.

Quick trick: Smile when you talk. It actually changes the way your voice sounds, making you more engaging and approachable.

Flow: Ever feel stuck in a conversation, not sure what to say next? Use this lifesaver: “That makes sense! Tell me more about that.” It keeps the conversation going and gives you time to think.

So remember: Know your stuff, show up with energy, and keep the flow going. Confidence isn’t about being perfect – it’s about owning the moment.

Alright, let’s talk about the real test of confidence – when a member is frustrated, skeptical, or even a little aggressive.

The key? Stay calm and in control. And for that, I use the ACE Method:

Acknowledge the Emotion
If someone’s upset, don’t brush it off – validate it. A simple, “I hear you, that sounds frustrating,” can lower their defenses instantly.

Clarify What They Need
Most frustration comes from feeling unheard. A game-changer? Asking, “Just so I understand, you’re hoping to…?” That shows you’re actually listening.

Explain the Next Step
Confidence comes from control and control comes from clarity. Instead of saying, “I don’t know,” try, “Here’s what I CAN do for you today.” This shifts the focus toward solutions.

So, here’s your challenge: Over the next few days, I want you to try these three things:

• Use the 5-second confidence reset before a conversation.
• Smile when you talk – trust me, it changes everything.
• Try the ACE method when a conversation gets tough.

Confidence in conversations isn’t about perfection; it’s about presence. You’ve got this. Now go out there and own it. And remember: Ideas spark change, actions ignite it.